I'm not expecting that to happen.

I don't know what's got in to me today!

Somehow under the pressure, you can say what you feel really good. Yeah, I cried today. In the leaders' meeting. How cool is that?! Or it's not cool at all to be exact. So I've been under pressure for like 3 days. Did I tell you I don't feel fit in among the leader? Yeah, well..

So today we were like sitting in the leaders room doing our meeting and suddenly, I don't know why this topic came up! Gustav, the camp director was asking about today and how it we felt about it. We were sitting in a circle like usual. But after the first discussion, he then was asking about how do we feel. Rassil had a chance to go first. And since this is also her first time and she somehow cried on that session. Well I guess that encourage me to speak up about how I felt the past few days. And when it comes to my turn, I was not thinking and what I remember was I said, if I might be honest with you guys: I agree with Rassil. This is my first time in CISV and being a leader. I feel like I'm being left behind and I know nothing and bla bla bla. I can't remember. LOL. I just don't expect myself saying all those feelings. But it feels great though. I feel releaved now. I can't believe I was crying out there, in front of the other leader. But they manage to take it really well. They support me really good. Especially Gustav, he take a really good care of me. All my insecurity somehow go down another level. I feel like all eyes were on me. That is not good, but I thank God for giving me strength to tell them and good that Gustav brings the issue up. He called and talk to me personally when everybody is leaving the room and I cried again! Perfect! LOL!

I think I did well today. It feels good. Really. I don't know what else to write. So I guess I'll just stop!

Continue planning,
Coffee.stain