My Confessions. My Prayers.

The year almost pass us by and we had a big fight.

It's December 30, 2009. I might have hurt you with my words, I am truly sorry. But then I know, maybe I was afraid. I was mad at myself for some reason that I couldn't find a way to convince myself to stand up for the love we have.

Maybe I've been hanging my expectation too high and makes it complicated. I want a decent proposal and no, you're not that much of a romantic person. I was disappointed knowing that you have done nothing by saying: it isn't that important because we're both adults and we know we love each other. But, that's what a girl (like me) would want to experience.

But then on the contrary I see, you have been there for me all along. Every time I got pulled to the dark side, you bring me back the lights. You cheered me up when I was sad. And show me love when I feel like nobody wants me or loves me. Not even my closest ones.

Yes, maybe I was afraid.

But I know,

You will be the man who holds my hands when I am lost.

The one who will always be right by my side every time.

The one who will make sure it's all okay.

And I know,

That I want you to be the one who wakes me up from bad dreams.

The one who hugs me then whispers there's nothing to be afraid of.

The one who tucks me back to sleep with a kiss on my forehead.

I hope you could be the place to throw all my fears and sadness.

A storage to share and save all my stories and bags of laughters.

A man who has loads of spaces of forgiveness for my selfishness.

To a man who loves me and whom I love.

For sure,

coffee.stains

A Day After Christmas.

Why changing for the better is not easy?

Yesterday was Christmas and I had so much fun until this envious and jealousy feelings came at noon. I don't like it. I feel sorry for myself who looks pretty much okay on the outside yet so fragile on the inside.

Anyone knows why it's like that? I don't want to be someone who always feel jealous to somebody else. So please, if anybody knows how to fix it, tell me. It hurts so much when you want to be a good person but you have to feel insecure because of these jealousy and envious feeling. It's so uncomfortable.

Honestly, I am a person who loves to see other people happy. I will try my best to help people and gladly put my privacy aside for them. It's almost like I dare sacrificing my happiness for them, just to see them happy. I know sometimes it's wrong. But, it's more painful to see people unhappy, especially because of me. Oh, dear!

I hope (and it's my biggest hope) I will learn how to be a good person in portion. Amen!

Hoping for the best to come,

coffee.stains

Christmas Eve!

Good Morning, Christmas Eve!

This is what I love about December. It's the month of Christmas and here we are on Christmas Eve. The Christmas Day is only on our finger tips. I can smell the peace on earth for us all.

It would be great, just like Celine Dion's song - Don't save it all for Christmas day: Don't get so busy that you miss giving just a little kiss to the ones you love. Don't even wait a little while to give in just a little smile, a little is enough.

It always going to be better is we find a way to give a little love every day. Not only on Christmas Day. The world will be better. A whole lot better, dear.

This song really inspires me to share and give, not only take from whoever near me. I must admit, it is special - this feeling when it comes to December. Knowing that Christmas is near. The spirit to love and share is stronger than ever.

What I do on Christmas Eve?

Going to the church is a must. Not only routines, but there we share with people who also have the same spirit of Christmas. And of course, to give thanks to Jesus Christ who always be there for me the whole year and all my life. Christmas doesn't mean we have to wear something new. Well, I used to have new clothes and shoes. But now that I'm old enough to think, it's not about that. It's about how we try to fix ourself and share the love we have.

This year, I hope I can spend Christmas with my loved ones this last two years (aside from my family of course). We haven't had a chance to spend Christmas together after two years being together. There are so many thing has passed yet we're still holding hands and stand as a couple. I am truly grateful for having him. He has the greatest patience ever! Although I must admit, it's not easy for us to stand along this far. I hope God will hear my prayer. A simple wish just to make my Christmas perfect. Him and my family.

Have a jolly Christmas Eve,

coffee.stains

Thank you to this younger girl.

Dia bukan anak kecil, hanya lebih muda.

Dan ternyata kami punya hobi (kadang-kadang) yang sama, menulis. Karena dirinya juga, hari ini saya kembali menulis. Mungkin pendek, tapi ini sebagai ucapan terima kasih saya karena diingatkan untuk menulis (lagi).

Dia memang lebih muda dari saya. Tapi yang saya tahu, dia bukan anak kecil. Karena dari pembicaraan beberapa hari ini, saya bisa menilai kalau dia adalah seorang yang gigih dan mau belajar dari orang lain. Salah satunya adalah saya, yang masih jauh dari sempurna dalam hal tulis menulis. Karena saya bukan seorang pro. Saya hanya berusaha menyampaikan apa yang pernah disampaikan pada saya selama belajar menjadi seorang copywriter. Jadi pelajaran yang kebetulan saya ingat dan saya dapat, bisa saya bagikan juga.

Sungguh menyenangkan mempunyai seorang teman yang senang melakukan hal yang sama dengan kita.

Terima kasih, Nicky. Kamu sudah membuat saya 'mulai' menulis (iseng) lagi - which I love so much.

Menulis lagi,

coffee.stains